what hurts the most
by cute but kinda deadly
Summary: i know there are a few fics done with this song but i love it too much to not do it.anyway its dracoxhermione as akkways.r and r


plz R&R. i love the song and i wanna cry everytime i hear it so i'm doing a song-fic about it."what hurts the most"-rascal flats :) and it is,obviously,dracoxhermione.

_i can take the rain on the _

_roof of this empty house_

_that don't bother me_

it's raining again. it rains alot here in london but today...it's like the skies are crying for you.for me.for us.And it always happens on this day.this day...july 14,2008. i here the drops of rain pour down hard on the rooftop.but i'm ok.i can take the rain. i just consider it all the tears i've cried and yet to cry for you.i'm ok.i promise.

_i can take a few tears now and then_

_and just let 'em out_

_i'm not afraid to cry every once in a while_

_even though going on with you gone_

_still upsets me_

_there are days every now and again_

_i pretend i'm ok_

_but thats not what gets me_

"don't worry about me"i told them.Ron,Harry,Pansy and Ginny did not believe me i could tell.i just gripped my firwhiskey harder.they didn't understand.they had their loved one's right beside them.ron had pansy and harry had ginny.i have myself.sure i let slip a small tear every now and then but that's to be expected.they were now talking to their spouses.i had one.but he's gone.i quietl let down my bottle and left ron and pansy's house. they wouldn't notice. they wouldn't notice anything.

i opened my door and i stopped dead. i haven't seen it but now i do. the last picture of you sitting on my desk.i haven't looked at it since...then.and i knew why.i walked up to the picture and picked it up. there you were,smiling and waving at me.it felt likr you were telling me everything will be ok.but it won't.i broke down for the first time in years since you left. until now it was only small tears.

_what hurts the most_

_was being so close_

_and having so much to day_

_and watching yo walk away_

_and never knowing_

_what could've been_

_and not seeing that lovin' you_

_is what i was trying to do_

an hour later i finally had the strangth to stand up.i put your picture down and walked over to ou-my bedroom.i remember it all to well.for years i've been trying to put this past me and not remember.to hide it away in a part of my brain that won't register the truth.the part the yearns to forgot. and now it all came back like a wave crashing into me.

it so clear.so _painful_...

flashback

_"give me my book,malfoy!"i had had screamed at you.you had came up behind me in the library and stole my book from behind. there you stood with all your pride holding it out of my reach.i had to resort to the only thing i could to._

_"OWWW!!" you dropped my book and quickly fell to the floor with your hands between your legs.I mirrored your smirk and left. that was in 5th year._

end of flashback

it was fun then.after that i don't know what happened. through-out the remaining 3 years of school i had become...attracted to you.don't ask how but i did.i'm just glad it was you who broke the ice in 7th year...

_flashback_

_"hey,Granger..."i looked up from my book.you looked so scared yet excited.i was getting impacient."what do you want,malfoy" as an answer you sat down next to me on the dewy grass.i was sitting at the edge of the black lake.i had seen you wringing your hands and biting your lip.i was getting nervous so i stood up and walked away. but i didn't get far because you caught my hand. i looked back at you in fright. you must have sensed it because you said,_

_"please.i want to ask you somthing..."i slowly sat down,curiosity getting the best of me.and then you asked._

_"would you like to go to hogsmeade with me?" i couldn't believe it.and i didn't.so i said no._

_end of flashback_

i was so afraid,draco.i wasn't sure if you meant it. i regretted it but i was happy you never took no for an answer and i got a second chance.

i can't believe its been 4 years already since i held you.since i heard you deep laughter.i turned off the light and fell asleep in sobs.

_it's hard to deal with the pain of _

_losing you everywhere i go_

_but i'm doing it_

_it's hard to fake that smile_

_everytime i see our old friends and _

_i'm alone still harder getting up,_

_getting dress living with this regret_

_but i know if i could do it over_

_i would trade throw away all the words _

_that i saved in my heart that i _

_left unspoken_

the weeks went on and i wasn't getting any better.everytime i see our friends i fake a smile.yeah they can see the pain behind the mask but i try.but i can't do it! draco,it's hard without you! not only to relieve the happy memories in my head but also remember the time you died and left me alone! and i'm the reason.i'm sorry i yelled at you.and it was a stupid fight,merlin! i can see it clearly then anything else and i...i...draco.now i'm crying again.see what you do to me? it's all my fault...all my fault...

_flashback_

_"hermione!"i heard you screaming my name.i ran down the stairs and into the living room._

_"did you tell scrimgeor that i didn't want the minister job?" i looked at you,confused.then i remembered._

_"yes,i did."i folded arms. thats when it got bad.you slammed you fist into the front door._

_"what the bloody hell is your problem,woman!"you yelled.i was afraid now.you never yelled at me that loud and with such anger._

_end of flashback_

i remember the last time i saw you. i told you that you would spend less time with me and work 24/7.and what you said pushed me over.

you said,"yeah,and?thats the point!i have to work to keep us from dying of starvation!".i was so angry that that you'd rather work to support us and hardly see me then actually spend time with me.i know it was stupid.i had told you do get out.i angry and upset but i didn't cry.until-

"fine! maybe i won't come back!"you screamed and slammed the door behind you. i ran after you but i saw you flying away on your broom.i walked back inside and cried.

_what hurts the most_

_was being so close_

_and having so much to say_

_and watching you walk away_

_and never knowing _

_what could've been_

_and not saying that loving you_

_is what i was trying to do._

yes,i love you.yes i barely lived the day i found out you died from crashing on your broom.yes i did only exist for the past few years.and yes,this day that it rains,7/13/08,every year since then i cry too.but i wont cry anymore.for her.

Hermione sat at her desk and re-read the letter.it wasn't perfect but it was true.she sighned her name and sealed it with wax.she walked out her house and over to the public london cemetary.she searched through the many plots and i found his grave.she couldn't help but cry a little as she saw the headstone.

DRACO A. MALFOY

SON,HUSBAND,FRIEND,FATHER

JUNE 5,1980-JULY 13,2004

R.I.P

"don't cry,baby"hermione knelt down and picked up her 4 year old daughter,Lyra.she held her head on her shoulders and allowed her child to cry for the father she never knew. hermione set her down and kneeled by the headstone.

"hello,draco.i wrote this letter for you,explaining everything about the past four years.take it with you."she put the letter in a crack on the headstone.she grabbed Lyra by the hand and walked away back home.

as they made there way on to a new brighter future, a strong wind came and carried the letter away.

but the odd thing was: it just kept flying higher towards the sky.never wavered in any direction but up.

it was also the last time it rained on july 13 in any year.

A/N-thanks for reading.it kinda sucks but i love the song and so,yeah.

FACTS

1.i got the name "Lyra" because it's the name of a star in the constillation, "draco".

2. that date that says when draco was born,that really is his birthday.i saying so because i read alot of fics that say different dates.look it up on veritaserum . com if ya dont believe me

3.draco's middle name starts with an "A" i think.i my friend said it was something but forgot.ok,maybe this isnt a fact since i dont know it but,yeah...

anyway...READ AND REVIEW!!-think thats enough yet?


End file.
